I Burn
by Lyse Dare
Summary: A Brenda/Dylan FF. He locked eyes with Brenda, wanting to make sure she knew he was talking to her even thought they surrounded by a sea of classmates. He took a breath before reciting, "I burn with the love that I lost ... when I lost you." R&R
1. Chapter 1

Dylan shifted uncomfortably on the stool. He hated speaking in front of people. It was Thursday night and he was spending it at the CU campus. He volunteered to speak tonight to earn extra credit points for his Romantic Poetry class.

He was into poetry so it wasn't that a big deal, but he hating feeling like he was on display and sitting on stage under a spot light wasn't helping his anxiety.

His eyes drifted across the crowd trying to focus on something other than his building paranoia. He almost fell off the stool as his wandering gaze landed on Brenda. He was surprised to see her there.

It was rare to see Brenda around these days, newly engaged and all. He lifted his hand to wave to her, but he hesitated after realizing she wasn't focused on him … she wasn't focused on anything really.

She stood near one of the pillars, fiddling with her engagement ring, her beautiful face set in a deep frown. Even upset she managed to still look stunning.

Dylan looked down at the poem he had chosen to read. The poem itself wasn't anything special, just something short and sweet he had chosen on a whim to satisfy the requirements.

He looked up at Brenda, who was still unfocused, and then back down again at the poem in his hands. He flipped through the pages of the poetry book quickly, landing on a poem he had come across yesterday after leaving Mr. Walsh's office.

_With you, the earth was a bed of grass. _

_We slept in it like two seeds. _

_With you, I was more than I am _

_Your mouth, the sun _

_Made everything possible_

_I burn with the love that I lost when I lost you_

He loved this poem. Dylan was shocked at the connection to the words he felt after reading it for the first time. The poem made him ache for Brenda. He ran his fingers of the lines of the poem.

Dylan was unsure about reading it aloud tonight. He had respected Brendas wishes that day on the docks and pledged just to be her friend, even though deep down he knew he wanted more than just friendship. The words of the poem had ignited something within Dylan.

Seeing her here tonight in the crowd made him feel excited. He thought about the conversation he had yesterday with her Father, maybe he was right ... could he still have sort of influence over Brenda? Could she still have feelings for him?

He wasn't lying when he said he didn't want to get involved with Brenda's affairs, but the severity of Mr. Walsh reaching out to him for help wasn't lost on him.

He remembered the days where Mr. Walsh had done everything in his power to keep him from even seeing Brenda and now here he was begging for his help. If Dylan was honest with himself, no one was really making him to do anything he didn't want to do. He had wanted to speak with Brenda about her relationship with Stewart as soon as he found out.

Things between them had escalated so quickly. One minute he heard they went on a few dates and the next thing he knew, Brenda was engaged to that clown. The words in the poem were true, _'I burn with the love that I lost when I lost you'_ and boy did he burn.

Watching them that night at her grandparents engagement party had been hell. He wouldn't consider him a jealous man, but seeing Brenda with Stewart made him crazy.

Every time he was forced to watch them kiss, Dylan had to resist the urge to pound Stewart's face in. He remembered Stewart Carson from his hay days as a rich Beverly Hills brat.

When he was younger he spent all of this time with Stewart and a bunch of other kids from the Beach Club. They were way too young to have been partying that hard, but with lax parents and an unlimited credit card, the good times never had to stop. When his Father had lost it all, he of course was exiled from the richy rich crowd.

Luckily one of the perks of being left was nothing was getting the chance to grow into something. He had gotten sober and slowly started to change his old ways. Stewie on the other hand hadn't.

Dylan had it on good authority that Stewart still partied hard and was more than okay still partying all night and letting Daddy foot the bill.

"Good Evening, and thank you all for coming." Dylan heard the Professor say, getting everyone's attention. He tried to take his mind off of Brenda and pay attention, clapping along with the others.

"Tonight we will start things off with a reading from Mr. Dylan McKay. He will be reciting a poem from our Romantic Poetry seminar. Mr. McKay, whenever you are ready, the floor is yours."

Dylan waited for the applause to die down and for the Professor to leave the stage. He made eye contact with Brenda before starting.

She made a funny face at him, making him laugh out loud. He coughed into his hand to trying to cover up his laughter, but failed. He glanced over at the Professor, muttering out an apology before starting.

He slowly started to read the poem, keeping his eyes glued to the page, too afraid to look up meet her eyes. He decided in that moment he finally was going to step up and stop Brenda before she made the biggest mistake of her life.

He got to the very last line and looked up, closing the book. He locked eyes with Brenda, wanting to make sure she knew he was reading the poem only to her even though she was surrounded by a sea of their classmates.

He took a breath before announcing to her, _I burn with the love that I lost when I lost you.__'_

* * *

So excited for the new BH 90210 reboot that I started watching the earlier Seasons again to prepare. After watching 4x09 again this idea popped into my mind. If only Dylan could have been the one to say something and stop the engagement, what a crazy S4 that would be. Let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Dylan focused on the wall and tried to keep his eyes off of Brenda as the Professor addressed the crowd, wrapping up Poetry night. His heart was racing after reading that poem and he was wondering what Brenda's thoughts were.

The sound of applause spurred him out of his thoughts and he mindlessly shook the professors hand. He started to walk off the stage, subconsciously going towards Brenda. He as shocked to see her walking towards him.

"That was beautiful." she said to him as they stood face to face.

"Thanks…I found it last night, kinda reminds me of you." He confessed, lightly tapping the poetry book against his legs.

He watched her try to hide the shock on her face, looking around the room for some sort of distraction. He followed her eyes and copied her gesture, trying to make her laugh. "Wanna get some coffee?" he asked tried to break the tension. He felt his whole body relax as she responded yes and started to make her way to the makeshift coffee bar.

He watched her prepare two cups, throwing a little cream and sugar in one and leaving the other plain black. He smiled and accepted the cup from her, touched that she still remembered how he liked it.

He remembered all of the times they would sip on coffee after she attended an AA meeting with him. He tried to rid himself of the sudden déjà vu that was sweeping over his body as he followed her to an empty table.

Dylan played with the edge of his Styrofoam cup trying to figure out how to start the conversation and address the elephant in the room.

"Kinda surprised to see you out alone tonight." Dylan said.

"Why?"

"You and your fiancée, you've been….inseparable lately." he responded starring into his coffee cup, trying to erase the image of Brenda and Steward that popped into his mind. Ever since seeing her that night at her Parents anniversary party snuggled up with Stewart couldn't get the jerk out of his head.

"Well, I can get along with out him." She joked taking a sip from her coffee cup and leaning back in her chair.

"You really love his guy Bren?" He asked jumping head first into the conversation he had been desperately wanting to have with her.

"Tonight's not the night to ask." She responded, letting out a deep sigh. She started to play with the sleeve of her jean jacket.

"Well if you're not sure then you better not marry him." He said, leaning back in his chair.

She looked up at him sharply forgetting about her jacket, her eyes sparking with anger, "Dylan you know me better than that."

"I know you better than anybody." He stated leaning towards her, invading her personal space.

"I know you do." She replied looking deep into his eyes.

"And I gotta tell you secretly in the back of my mind I've been hoping the whole thing falls apart." He told her bluntly.

"Dylan come on. I don't want to hear that, especially tonight." She confessed.

"If you marry this guy Bren…you and I will never have another chance." He told her and immediately regretted it after he noticed the suspicious look in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

Dylan looked into her eyes and looked away sighing, unsure how to answer.

At the beginning of the summer she told him she just wanted to stay friends and it hurt his ego way more than he wanted to admit. He was nervous about saying too much, not wanting to face rejection a second time around.

"You're just trying to get me to break up with Stewart." She accused folding her arms across her chest.

"Hey at this point, I would say or do anything to get you to call off this stupid engagement."

"Why?"

"You've only known the guy for what three weeks?" he asked, no longer holding back the distaste in his tone.

"Oh like I haven't heard that line before." She snapped leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Your parents are very worried about you." He told her trying to change his approach. He froze as she suddenly started glaring at him.

"Have you been talking to my parents?" she asked.

Dylan looked down at the table, unsure what to say.

"My father put you up to this didn't he?" she asked him again, leaning towards him.

"Hey I talked to your father, but he didn't put me up to anything. I care about you." He said.

"I'm so sick and tired of everybody telling me how to live my life." She said standing up, "It's my life Dylan and I will live it how I want to."

Brenda stormed off, Dylan watched as she nearly ran out of the student union. He looked at his coffee cup for a moment before getting up and running after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Brenda raced out of the student union. She could bare see thanks to the tears pouring out of her eyes. She couldn't believe her father would embarrass her like his. Even if her parents did not like the idea of her and Stewart getting married, to drag Dylan into this was beyond humiliating.

"Brenda, wait." She heard from behind her. She quickened her pace not bothering to turn around, knowing who was following her.

She started to run towards the bus stop, hoping he would get the message and stop chasing her. She could hear his footsteps getting louder on the pavement, slowly catching up. Damn her small legs.

"Wait. Let me explain." He said finally reaching her. He put one hand on his hip trying to catch his breath and the other wrapped around her forearm so she couldn't move.

"Back there, it all came out wrong. I was meeting your Dad about my trust and he asked me how I felt about your engagement. I mean technically yes, we were talking about you, but no, your parents didn't put me up to this. I care about you…I just wanted to talk to you on my own to try and figure out where you head is at. You can't really be serious about marrying this clown."

Brenda scoffed and kicked the ground. "Stewart loves me, he says he wants to be with me forever."

"Yeah well Stewart always had a lot to say." Dylan scoffed thinking about Stewart and tried not to fly off the handle.

Stewart Carson was such a scum, it made him sick that Brenda couldn't see through his act. "Do you even know this guy Bren? Do you even know what he's about. I can't see you being with a guy like that." He said.

"A guy like what?" Brenda snapped, "He's good to me Dylan. I get it you guys have a past, but that's just it…its in the past. He loves me Dylan, he says he wants to marry me! Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you." He exclaimed, "But I can't stand by and not say anything when I think you're making a huge mistKe. I don't want to see you ruin your life by marrying some coke head new money rich boy who's going to steam roll all over you your whole life. God, I don't get it. What do you even see in that guy?"

"Because he picked me!" Brenda shouted, throwing her hands up, "He wants ME and no one else.

Dylan felt his breath catch in his throat suddenly unsure what to say. It felt like the ultimatum Brenda and Kelly had put him through senior year was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

At the time he didn't think being with Kelly would have affected Brenda so heavily, but he was wrong. In his mind there wasn't even a choice, he just knew he wanted a change and Kelly just happened to be there. He could only stare at Brenda in shock as she continued to yell at him in the middle of the abandoned student parking lot.

"When it came down to making a choice, he chose and it was me. I know choosing to be with me may be a foreign concept to you Dylan, but Stewart knows what he wants and he wants me to be his wife. And so what…he has some flaws, don't we all? What's that saying, he who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones! I cant believe you after everything you put me through you can't even pretend to be happy for me?" She said turning away from him and walking towards the bus stop.

"Aw, come on don't give me that!" He snapped, finally loosing his temper. "Would you come back here and stop running away from me?" he yelled chasing after her for the second time that night.

He caught up with her, and pulled her towards his parked Porsche and pushed her against it. He leaned down so they were making eye contact. "Sounds like you're marrying him just because he asked. You haven't said once that you love this guy. That's how I know you're having doubts."

Brenda opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off, "And if were talking about choices, you made a choice for us at the beginning of the summer, not me. I may not have liked it, but I accepted being your friend because that is what you wanted!"

She once again was at a loss for words. They were both breathing heavily, so close to one another she could feel the heat coming off of his body and she was sure he could feel hers. She shuddered as he stepped even closer to her, trapping her body against the car and himself.

"What are you even saying right now." Brenda asked looking up at him.

He was so close it was making her head spin. He ran a hand through her hair and the familiar sensation was sending her into over drive. She whimpered as he removed his hand and set it on her waist.

"I've seen that look before." He whispered in her ear.

She gasped aloud thinking about how she said those same words to him earlier this summer. She opened her mouth to answer and before she could blink his lips were on hers and they were kissing.

* * *

Is anyone still reading this story? I am so sorry for the lack of updates (so yall got two for being so patient), thanks to this quarantine craziness I've gotten the chance to write again. What do you think? Leave me a review and let me know do you guys wanna see Brenda with Dylan, or Brenda with Stewart. Hope everyone is staying safe.


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